Performance Anxiety

[Caravan]

Hi everyone. Glad I found this forum. It was hotlinked from another forum I was in (I had googled "sexual performance anxiety")


Background:

A little about me:
I'm 21 years old, and in relatively good shape. 5'9, 155lbs. I smoke (need to quit, yeah), and I eat pretty healthy.

It all started when I was 17 and started fooling around with my girlfriend. Losing my erection when we'd get intimate. Never had a problem doing things alone. I thought I was some sort of crazy person. It took me about 6 months of trying until we could have sex. And another few months until I didn't have any problems (thankfully she stuck with me). Fast forward three years: I'm a single guy. Started hanging out with a cute girl I met through a friend. We had sex a few times, but more often than not it didn't work. Things went sour and we split.

I haven't been dating since. I know what I have is Performance Anxiety. I don't understand, though, is why. I'm a pretty confident person, I guess with most things unless it comes to sex. I have nothing to hide, I'm not concerned about my size or my abilities, but there is a serious mental block going on.

I went to the Boston Medical Group in Manhannan NY last year. I didn't find them very helpful. The doctor there was trying to convince me that although the tests he did were fine, the blood vessels in my member were not working correctly and that was my issue. But I knew it wasn't. I spent $700 on an injection system that induces an erection. It didn't work initially, so I called the doctor and he told me to up the dose. I did. Still didn't give me a full erection. I called the doctor again and he said to up it once more. I still didn't get good results so I stopped using it. I still have it but I don't intend on using it again. Again, nothing against BMG but I didn't have a very good experience.

A few weeks later I invited said ex-girl friend and we had sex with barely any issue.

It's just in my head.

I've heard that Viagra/Cialis do/don't work for these situations. They say it works if you have the desire. While I don't have much of a sex drive (likely derived from this) I do once I'm "caught up in the moment", until my mental block kicks in and it's like fight-or-flight battle in my head. Although I want it, the desire goes away and I just, for lack of a better term, freak out. So I'm not sure if it'll work. Has anyone had luck with medication?

I've read books on this, spent hours researching, talking to people (brother went through the same thing but no longer has the issue - he helped himself mentally and I can't seem to do it), with no luck so far. I miss intimacy.

Can anyone point me in the right direction?

On a lighter note, I'm SO glad I found this forum and I can't wait to offer help in any way I can.

Thanks in advance.

-Mark G

[doofy]

Mark,

I think you just described me 7 years ago. I had sex with a few girls when I was 16 and did not have much trouble, only lasted a few seconds anyway, lol. I started developing performance anxiety which lead to my ED when I had my first serous girlfriend. She was the hottest girl in college and I was so lucky she liked me. This built up allot of tension and when it came done to it I could not get an erection, I was only 20 years old.

I also went to the Boston Medical Group and waited in that little room until the doctor comes and runs some machine on your penis. He said the same thing to me, that my blood flow was not normal (he showed me on a chart). Back them they prescribed me the same thing as you, the little injection pen with the insulin looking liquid that you have to keep in the fridge! I spent $650 bucks on this treatment but unlike you it worked for me. I injected it into the middle of my penis and in about 20 minutes I got a rock hard erection that lasted as long as I wanted. Sometime it does not work but it really depends on where you inject it.

I did have an issue with it though, the 4th time I used it, it gave me a 5 hour erection, and believe me that was not cool. I decided to quit it because I did not want to depend on this stuff, plus it's 650 bucks. Things are still not 100% for me but Viagra 100mg does work for me now.

I have sex once every 2 weeks with my girl but I have a method. I do not eat all day, at noon I have some watermelons and pomegranate juice and then at about 4pm I take the viagra, if I do not feel it kicking in I eat a sandwich. I think this causes my body to digest and the Viagra then kicks in. But you have to look or feel something sexual.

If Viagra does not work for you then check out this article:

Treatment Program for Erectile Dysfunction

This is an article edguider.com wrote on a treatment program by Rod Phillips, this guy has some sort of treatment program that shows you how to get rid of ED if you suffer from it mentally.

I have not tried it but if Edguider.com wrote about it then it has to be good. Check out the link and if you try the program tell them you read it on Edguider, this is a respected ED forum and you should get better attention or support.

Hope that helps a little and please keep me posted. You will probably have other guys give you their 2cents ASAP... This is a good post....

Doofy...

[Flavio]

[...] It's just in my head.

I've heard that Viagra/Cialis do/don't work for these situations. They say it works if you have the desire. [...]

Yes and no.

It's true that Viagra doesn't give a spontaneous erection and sexual stimulation is always necessary. Viagra is only a locally acting drug, it doesn't improve libido. If you're anxious, depressed or simply not in the mood, it probably won't work. In these cases, an anxiolytic or antidepressant may be useful - as long as it doesn't have any sexual side effects. I've been taking SEREDYN for my sexual performance anxiety and I find it helpful. Talk to your doctor before you decide to take any of these drugs or supplements.

It's not true that Viagra or Cialis only work in cases of organic ED. There's nothing phisically wrong with me and I know for sure that my ED was purely psychological, but Cialis has helped me a lot and it wasn't just a placebo. Today I'm 32 y.o. and my erections are stronger than ever.

[Flavio]

[...] Has anyone had luck with medication?

[...]

I already mentioned Cialis but Vigamed (oral phentolamine) is also a good option. Phentolamine blocks the action of the sympathetic nervous system and inhibits the negative effects of stress hormones (adrenaline is an erection killer).

Vigamed is not available in the US but you can order it online: vasomaxclinic.com

I'm currently taking Cialis and Vigamed on demand. I know it's a lot of stuff and it's a bit expensive but I'm very happy with the results.

[Caravan]

Thank you all for your informative posts.

Now that I think about it, I am in fact an easily-stressed person. I tend to avoid stressors but sometimes they're inevitable. At work, etc.

I was given a few Cialis pills (I don't recall what mg they were) and took one just because. I didn't even have a chance of getting laid or anything. I thought it was more or less an aphrodesiac but it's not. I didn't "feel" anything so I assumed it had no effect on me. Now that I know it won't raise my sex drive I'll have to try it again and see how it works should I get lucky (I'm single).

I wish I could take something that would be absolutely certain to give me an erection when I wanted it. Confidence is key. But; it's not so simple so I'll have to do what I can.

I'd like to get some Viagra to give that a shot but I'm not sure if a walk-in clinic will prescribe that.

Like I discussed with my brother, hopefully after a few good sessions with hard erections (even with pills) without any issue, I can battle the barrier inside my head and eventually wein myself off of medications. But we'll see.

Again, THANK YOU all for your help. This is the forum I've been looking for for years.

[Willie]

Caravan, you sound just like me.

Just like you, because of my young age, I was once convinced it was all in my head, until I went to a urologist. They did the same tests on me that it sounds like they did on you (arteriogram, doppler ultrasound). They showed that my arteries have some scar tissue in them at points. So, I only have a fraction of the blood pressure that I should have.

If I were you, I would read up on penile revascularization surgery. Basically, they take an artery from your stomach and connect it to your penis to bring your blood pressure up to normal.

Caravan: ask yourself this question: are you able to just look at something pornographic and get an immediate, rapid-filling erection? At your age, you should be able to. If you can't, then I think your arteries may be damaged.

Talk to a urologist about the surgery man. Hope this helped.

[Willie]

Just wanna see if this post works...tried a longer one that didn't go through.

[anxiousED]

I suffer from the same dillema , I just got some Viagra to test if it works. I wanted to know what would happen if I take 50 mg and my date busts i.e I don't get the chance to have sex? Does the erection stay there or does it come and go according to stimulus ? I don't want to take one and be left with an embarrassing boner

[Wesley2009]

I struggled with this for years before Viagra was first introduced, and sadly for years even after Viagra was introduced.

I cannot "diagnose" anyone. I can only say for myself that things like self-esteem issues, feelings of inadequacy etc, have never been an issue.

It has always been a simple matter of first time with an unfamiliar partner was a hurdle. After that I was always fine. I did not try Viagra for many years because in the early days there was some reluctance to prescribe it outside of some kind of "therapy" for otherwise healthy young men, and there was also a lack of information available to the average person (like these forums) that it even worked.

Maybe even now our "therapeutic" institutions still have a problem with the idea that hey, sex is a pretty serious thing. Maybe it is not less, but possibly in fact more healthy that some people have this issue. I certainly believe that is true for me. It was not even something I wanted to "change" - I felt like I enjoyed sex on a deeper level than a lot of men, and this was probably part and parcel with that.

But I did get frustrated over the well, logistical problem of it all.

So I was overseas and had met this girl, and it was a situation that had a logical conclusion, we both knew we would likely never meet again even. I just knew it would never "work". But I also thought, hey I'm overseas, things are much different here. So I went to a pharmacy, and sure enough, they sold Viagra OTC, all you had to do was ask.

At the time I really had no information that it would even work. It did. It still does. Best experiment I ever tried.

So I cannot guarantee you anything, but I can say that if you feel healthy, don't feel like you have some kind of serious deep rooted conflict, then yes, this definitely at least has the potential to be what you are looking for.

I have not tried Cialis. I have read that many men say it does not have the same kind of "push" that Levitra, and especially Viagra have. I would say you should try Viagra.

Also the "try this at home first" deal - that is not going to answer your questions. You might want to try just small dose to see how well you handle the side effects. (100 mg of Viagra gives me a distinct flu like feeling later, but it is always worth it for the limited times I need it ;-)

If you feel like you are having no real adverse reactions of concern, and you are not taking any of the contra-indicated medications etc, then you can probably handle 75-100 mg. The only real way to know it works is well, when the rubber meets the road. ;-) Stack as many cards in your favor the first time, things you should already know to avoid like any alcohol etc.

If you have some success and feel like "Yeah, it seemed to work at least to some degree", then don't start doubting. If it got you over the hump, set your mind on "It works. Period." Not "It seems to work, but maybe not as much as I hoped, so I doubt it will keep working."

If you can decide once that it "works", it works better, "knowing that it works." Viagra is not a placebo, but like any drug it can work better with a little placebo mentality to boost you along. In fact, the only reason I still take a dose on the higher side is like you I am a smoker (arghh, quite while you are young if you can) and now I am also starting to experience some additional true cardio-vascular related effects as well. ;-(

But it still works for me and it still works very well.

I have not tried the generic, but plan to soon. I am familiar enough now with Viagra to be able to take one at home and know from the after effects if they are both legit and the right dosage.

But I would suggest you bite the bullet and start with one of the 3 pill scripts of the Pfizer stuff. Yes they are $$$ but you know for sure what you have. If it does not work for you, at least you will not have other doubts, and you will know for sure.

Your story sounds familiar, and Viagra definitely worked for me.

Hopefully it will work for you too. It is definitely worth trying.

Good luck.

[Caravan]

I struggled with this for years before Viagra was first introduced, and sadly for years even after Viagra was introduced.

I cannot "diagnose" anyone. I can only say for myself that things like self-esteem issues, feelings of inadequacy etc, have never been an issue.

It has always been a simple matter of first time with an unfamiliar partner was a hurdle. After that I was always fine. I did not try Viagra for many years because in the early days there was some reluctance to prescribe it outside of some kind of "therapy" for otherwise healthy young men, and there was also a lack of information available to the average person (like these forums) that it even worked.

Maybe even now our "therapeutic" institutions still have a problem with the idea that hey, sex is a pretty serious thing. Maybe it is not less, but possibly in fact more healthy that some people have this issue. I certainly believe that is true for me. It was not even something I wanted to "change" - I felt like I enjoyed sex on a deeper level than a lot of men, and this was probably part and parcel with that.

But I did get frustrated over the well, logistical problem of it all.

So I was overseas and had met this girl, and it was a situation that had a logical conclusion, we both knew we would likely never meet again even. I just knew it would never "work". But I also thought, hey I'm overseas, things are much different here. So I went to a pharmacy, and sure enough, they sold Viagra OTC, all you had to do was ask.

At the time I really had no information that it would even work. It did. It still does. Best experiment I ever tried.

So I cannot guarantee you anything, but I can say that if you feel healthy, don't feel like you have some kind of serious deep rooted conflict, then yes, this definitely at least has the potential to be what you are looking for.

I have not tried Cialis. I have read that many men say it does not have the same kind of "push" that Levitra, and especially Viagra have. I would say you should try Viagra.

Also the "try this at home first" deal - that is not going to answer your questions. You might want to try just small dose to see how well you handle the side effects. (100 mg of Viagra gives me a distinct flu like feeling later, but it is always worth it for the limited times I need it ;-)

If you feel like you are having no real adverse reactions of concern, and you are not taking any of the contra-indicated medications etc, then you can probably handle 75-100 mg. The only real way to know it works is well, when the rubber meets the road. ;-) Stack as many cards in your favor the first time, things you should already know to avoid like any alcohol etc.

If you have some success and feel like "Yeah, it seemed to work at least to some degree", then don't start doubting. If it got you over the hump, set your mind on "It works. Period." Not "It seems to work, but maybe not as much as I hoped, so I doubt it will keep working."

If you can decide once that it "works", it works better, "knowing that it works." Viagra is not a placebo, but like any drug it can work better with a little placebo mentality to boost you along. In fact, the only reason I still take a dose on the higher side is like you I am a smoker (arghh, quite while you are young if you can) and now I am also starting to experience some additional true cardio-vascular related effects as well. ;-(

But it still works for me and it still works very well.

I have not tried the generic, but plan to soon. I am familiar enough now with Viagra to be able to take one at home and know from the after effects if they are both legit and the right dosage.

But I would suggest you bite the bullet and start with one of the 3 pill scripts of the Pfizer stuff. Yes they are $$$ but you know for sure what you have. If it does not work for you, at least you will not have other doubts, and you will know for sure.

Your story sounds familiar, and Viagra definitely worked for me.

Hopefully it will work for you too. It is definitely worth trying.

Good luck.

VERY informative. Thank you for your time. I plan on biting the bullet and getting Viagra (doubt health insurance will cover any of it, correct?).

As to these "deep rooted issues" I'm not sure what you mean. But I'm more than certain it's just a psychological thing at this point in time.

Like I said, after I "got over it" with my ex-girlfriend, I had no problems getting erect and performing like any other human male. It's all in my head.

I looked into sex therapists online, as another plan, but there doesn't seem to be any in Rhode Island

I still have other issues to work out, as well. My sex drive has dwindled to about nothing. I can't even remember the last time I woke up with an erection. I relate this to performance anxiety. If I know "it won't work", it ain't gonna work by itself.

Thanks again.

Mark